It’s easier to have a positive relationship with positive people.
Luke DOES NOT like to be sad. If he’s frustrated about something, or has just been scolded, then he asks us to find his happy face. He’s done this for a year now and he came up with the whole thing on his own. For a year we have responded by looking around to see if we can find it, while he quickly wipes his eyes and surprises us with a huge smile and then giggles. It works like a charm. As he approached turning three I wondered if he would ever grow out of this. I’m sure his wife is going to just love having to find his happy face all the time. So lately I’ve started to say, “Luke, you need to find your own happy face… YOU find it.” to which he sobs back… “I don’t know how!” So, for now, we’re still finding it for him… but we do appreciate the fact that he LOVES to be happy and HATES to be sad.
I know that your attitude towards EVERYTHING in life determines so much of the outcome. We really try to teach our kids to have a good attitude. I’m constantly telling them that THEY are in charge of the way they react to anything. They’re in charge of being happy. I admire people who look at the glass half full… and try to teach my kids to do the same.
On our summer points charts the kids are given points for each job or responsibility and can spend points on rewards. 10 points for just accomplishing the job… OR 20 points for accomplishing the job with a happy attitude. The kids have learned fast that having a good attitude pays off.
When we decided to move to Germany we explained to the kids how life would be different. Different, not bad. We made two posters… one with “Things we’ll miss” and one with “Things we are excited for”. For the next month anytime anyone thought of anything for either chart we’d write it on there. It allowed the kids to celebrate their emotions. Once we were finished we had two positive charts… One of all the things that we had loved about Georgia and one of all the things that we were going to love about Germany. It helped us say goodbye with gratitude and hello with excitement.
Ideas for teaching a positive attitude:
- Be a good example of a positive attitude.
- Be constantly finding the good in the situation and verbalizing it to your children.
- Have discussions about things you are grateful for and write them down.. and not just in November!
- Every day at dinner talk about why you are so happy or so grateful. Ask the kids to do it too.
- Pray for a good attitude.
- Sometimes when my children say something negative, I have them then say five things positive. It could be about anything or anybody.
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Vision. Communication. Love. Attitude. and let me add two more words… PRACTICE and PRAYER.
I’ve enjoyed reading some great books and articles lately. It seemed everything I picked up had to do with this topic in one way or another and I couldn’t possibly fit all of the the wonderful material in. But my testimony is strengthened, I’ve learned a LOT, and I’m excited to be more FOCUSED on creating and maintaining great relationships with my family. I can think of nothing I want more. True happiness. How blessed we are to understand the importance of good family relationships… especially in a world that values the family less and less.
8 comments:
I'm so glad you posted all of this. I told Christ last week that I wanted you to send it to me in an e-mail, so this is perfect! Thanks for sharing all your great ideas. You truly make me want to be a better mom. Love you!
These are all wonderful principles...and all these principles still apply...to older children and spouses. I think it would be good to review these principles often because I tend to get stuck in my ruts and and forget. Thanks for the reminders and examples. I love your practical ideas to achieve the principles.
Thanks for that inspiring blog Lisa. I have the greatest love and respect for you guys as I know you strive to have a Christ centered life and teach it to your family. We miss you here in Georgia and think of you often!
You did an amazing Job Lisa!!! I heard nothing but rave reviews. My only regret was that we didn't have more time!
Lisa, you truly are AMAZING! Thanks for posting this. A good reminder of the importance of strengthening our relationships with our kids! I definately need to do better!
Wow Lisa...this is amazing. I know it looks easy to me when others practice these principles, but really as parents we make a choice to be patient, kind, and positive too. Its not an easy job. Its really hard work just like everything that is worthwile! I'm so grateful to have you as a friend to learn from and improve my own parenting techniques.
Lisa I haven't stopped by your blog in a long time. I shouldn't have let it be so long. I forgot how much of a major inspiration you are to me. I wish I was more like you. I try taking little things and working them into our family. Years ago when Chase went to Georgia he came home telling us about your "no empty chairs" cheer. We soon were implementing that into our family prayers. You are an inspiration. If I could pick two people to be my sisters I would pick you and Jamie C. I want to be a better person when I am with you (or reading your blog;-) Someday I hope you write a book so that everyone can bask in your light. Things have been really hard for me lately. Chase is really struggling with making friends. He gets picked on, pushed around and made fun of daily. I so miss those days when he was surrounded by such steller youth like Ryan and some of his other Dupont friends. His frustration is affecting home life even more. He and Emily just go at each other constantly. Any way. I just want to thank you for this little pep talk. I just printed it out and saved it on my hard drive. I am going to try harder instead of giving up. Love you so much Lady!!!
Lisa, I have always looked up to you as mom! I needed to read this, thank you for posting it. I wish I could have been there in person to hear you share your thoughts! I'm sure you did a fabulous job!!!
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