We had been struggling with contention in our house in November so I decided it needed to be the focus of an upcoming FHE night at the end of November. I typed out some quotes with blanks so we’d have to look up scriptures and listen carefully to quotes to fill it in. It takes longer but the kids like it. We drew pictures and wrote words in the bottom describing the difference between CONTENTION and THE SPIRIT. I scanned Katie’s because I love the notes she took on the back. We talked about what things can soften our heart and laughed when Ryan broke into a commercial selling ‘Heart Softeners’. “Do you have a hard heart? Get HEART SOFTENERS.”
I shared an experience I had just had while addressing Christmas cards a couple days before. For each name I wrote I thought of how that family had touched our family. It occurred to me that the group of friends we had made along our journey have come either because we have served them, they have served us or together we have served others. I thought of women who had brought me dinners when I had babies, taught my kids piano, who I visit taught or who had taught me, women who served with me in Young Womens or other callings or men who served with Chris in the Bishopric or Young Mens, families who cared for my kids and who I cared for theirs. I thought of an experience cleaning a house with some good friends. I got a little emotional thinking of how these families, that we write to each year, have been a part of our lives. Then I told my kids that I want them to be the VERY BEST KIND OF FRIENDS and that in my experience, it means that they must serve each other, be served by each other and together, serve others in order to form that kind of relationship. Less arguing, more serving. Less contention, more Spirit.
It was a great night. It’s fun how we can be laughing and joking around one minute, and then as the Spirit powerfully enters the room, they are silent and the message really sinks in. My kids hugged me – they often do when I cry – and we set up a plan of how we could accomplish a better spirit in our home and what each child needed to work on. One of the things we set up is borrowed from a gal online. The job jar. When we hear contention between kids we simply direct them to the job jar without getting all heated. They pick a job and do it. Some of the list is kind of funny, some are just ‘warnings’ and some are real household jobs. Most of the time I don’t want to rehash who said what and who was right or wrong. I simply don’t want the contention in my house and it takes two to contend. End of story. It’s been working great… a good reminder.
Here’s the list of what’s in our JOB JAR…
- Clean out van
- Organize one shelf of the pantry
- Pull weeds in front yard for 5 minutes
- Clean a sibling’s room
- Clean front bathroom toilet
- Clean a bathroom mirror while singing any song.
- Clean out silverware drawer
- Wipe down inside of fridge and have a treat afterwards.
- You are free but this is a WARNING!
- Scrub upstairs bathtub
- Give mom and dad a hug and say, “I will never fight with my siblings again.”
- Wipe down a dining room chair – the whole thing
- Empty all garbage’s
- Write a letter to someone who has done a service for you and tell them thank you.
- Dust the plant in the front bathroom
- Rub dad/mom’s shoulders for 5 minutes while telling him how thankful you are for them working so hard.
- Rub dad/mom’s shoulders for 5 minutes while telling them how thankful you are for them.
- Sweep front entry way and porch while singing a song.
- Clean out junk drawer in the kitchen
- Clean glass door
- You are free but this is a WARNING!
- Hug your sibling and tell them you think they are always right.
- You are free but this is a WARNING!
- Hug your sibling and tell them they are beautiful or handsome.
- Tell all of your siblings 3 things you love about them.
- Write 20 times “I will not fight with my siblings.”
- Do 25 jumping jacks while singing, “I am a cleaning machine.”
- Run around the house for 1 minute and see how many things you can pick up and put away.
- Draw a picture of you picking up things and your mom and dad smiling BIG!
- Make up a song about a clean house and perform it in front of your family.
- Make your bed blindfolded.
- While hopping on one foot, wipe the kitchen counters off.
- Sweep the hallway.
- Hand wash 3 dishes
- Scrub the front toilet while singing, ‘whistle while you work’.
- Clean up the backyard, do a flip on the trampoline and beg your mother for forgiveness.
- Sweep back patio
- Organize mom and dad’s shoes.
- Sweep one set of stairs.
A recent job jar assignment from Megan…
Here’s one of Luke’s recent assignments.... I’m not sure it’s helping him calm down but at least he’s getting some letter practice.
